"It was four-thirty in the morning, daylight was calling, and I woke to what sounded like pneumatic drilling on the window pane. It was a crow, silhouetted against the bedroom window, on the light side of the dark, hammering at the glass with his beak. One stony look from me and he was off to his nest, leaving the rest of us to deal with the effects of broken sleep before he decided to return half-an-hour later and attack the kitchen window, which is just the sort of anti-social behaviour that encourages chasing a crow around the garden in the dawning morning in garden boots and boxer shorts flourishing a ‘newly bought, still in its box, ready to install the following morning fluorescent light tube’ shouting “oy, oy, oy” at the rising sun. Wouldn’t you be doing the same?..."
(Extracted from The Bit in the Middle: the curiously comic tale of a gardener in the Scottish Highlands. An Ebook by Patrick Vickery)